my depression and loneliness:

I feel so alone.

I really doubt anyone has felt as alone as I have.

Seriously.

I'm sure some have, and they've gone through with ending it.

I can't die alone,

I really really don't want to.

It feels like everyone has more external support than I do

Because I really think that's the case.

Like, genuinely.

Maybe I should just die.

At least I'd be in control of that.

At least that'd be a way out of this hell that I just don't have the strength to dig myself out of.

I don't have the strength!

Can't anyone, anyone, hear me?

Sure, I am neglecting messages.

Sure, I'm not reading my Bible and talking to Him.

Listened to sabrina carpenter song

juno

one line in it just made me so

so

scarily sad

like really really deep unbearable sadness

and horrible fear of being alone

forever.

of happiness that feels ripped from my chest

stability. that feels FUCKING RIPPED FROM MY SOUL

WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT???!!!!

"one of me is cute, but two though?"

that's the line that gets me

maybe im abandoning myself again

i dont know.

but i just never

feel

real.

is something so wrong with me that

no one can

i can't connect with anyone?

truly??

what is wrong with me then,

why wasn't i meant for this planet???

WHY AM I SO ALONE